Still Here

Yep, she's still here.

It's so hard to write about. 

It's one of those things where I feel like it's her story to tell, not mine.  Although, I talk to everyone about her, I don't hardly write anything about her.  It's not fun, or funny, well, OK, sometimes it is funny.  Like the time she hid her walnuts in her underware so she didn't have to eat them.  They fell out all over the stairs when she went up to bed.  We laughed.  And laughed.  She didn't laugh.  She was angry.  Really I'm sure she was embarrassed too.  But at that point in her life she only knew angry.

Things have changed around here. 

We went to an intensive therapy session last week in Colorado. It was just that - INTENSE!  Her therapist, James Dumesnil, was amazing.  I love him.  I really do. Nancy Thomas was also there.  She is amazing.  But it was the therapy that cracked my little radsters heart.  Cracked it open wide.  She cried, she screamed, she yelled.  And it was real.  Can you believe that?  I said REAL!!! She had real feelings.  REAL!!

I didn't know if I had anything left to give her.  She had turned me away so many stinkin' times, I just wasn't sure if I could be there for her.  Then Kasey (Harmer) gave me some advice.  And then, Nancy gave me some similiar advice.  Pray that she can see the love her Heavenly Father has for her in my eyes.  She is a child of God after all.  He loves her.  He made sure I had all the tools I needed to heal her heart.  And He made sure she saw His love for her in my eyes.  It really worked.  And it wasn't that hard afterall. 

She not all the way better, but I can see a huge change in her.  It gives me hope.  Someday she might be a girl we all can like.

It's pretty easy to follow God's plan for us if we know what his plan is.  As long as we have that conviction, we can always keep going.

That's where my strength comes from.  Heavenly Father